GRE作文的点评以及写作建议

GRE作文的点评以及写作建议 　Issue 9 　Although many people think that the luxuries and conveniences of contempo

GRE作文的点评以及写作建议 Issue9 Althoughmanypeoplethinkthattheluxuriesand conveniencesofcontemporarylifeareentirelyharmless, theyinfact,preventpeoplefromdevelopingsintostruly strongandindependentindividuals. Domodernluxuriesservetoundermineourtruestrength andindependenceasindividuals?Thespeakerbelievesso, andItendtoagree.Considertheautomobile,forexample. Mostpeopleconsidertheautomobileanecessityratherthan aluxury;yetitisforthisveryreasonthatthe automobilesoaptlysupportsthespeakerspoint.Tothe extentthatwedependoncarsascrutches,theypreventus frombeingtrulyindependentandstrongincharacteras individuals. 可借鉴之处：开头启用了一个非常醒目的问句，这是最能吸引 批卷者视线也是高分作文的表现! Considerfirsttheeffectoftheautomobileonour independenceasindividuals.Insomerespectsthe automobileservestoenhancesuchindependence.For example,carsmakeitpossibleforpeopleinisolatedand depressedareaswithoutpublictransportationtobeemore independentbypursuinggainfulemploymentoutsidetheir munities.Andteenagersdiscoverthatowningacar,oreven