浅议ThefamilyisaplaceinwhichchildrenlearntoParentingandChild学术英语论文

浅议ThefamilyisaplaceinwhichchildrenlearntoParentingandChild_学术英语论文 Thefamily

ThefamilyisaplaceinwhichchildrenlearntoParentingandChild_ 浅议学术英语论文 Thefamilyisaplaceinwhichchildrenlearntointerpretreality.Parentsserveassignificantinterpretersforc hildrenofinformationabouttheworldandchildren’sabilities.Theyarechildren’sfirstteachers.Parents wanttheirchildrentogrowintosociallymatureindividuals,andtheymayfeelfrustratedintryingtodiscove rthebestwaytoaccomplishthisdevelopment. Parentingstylesarebroadpatternsofchildrearingpractices,values,andbehaviors.AccordingtoDianaBa umrind,fourtypesofparentingstylesareindulgent(moreresponsivethandemanding),authoritarian(high lydemandinganddirectivebutnotresponsive),authoritative(bothdemandingandresponsive),andindulg ent(lowinresponsivenessanddemandingness) Childrenfromauthoritarianfamilyareoftenaggressive,fearful,andanxious,theyoftenhaveweakcommu nicationskills.Childrenassociatedwithauthoritativeparenting,arehappy,cheerful,self-controlledandc opewithstress.Childrenfromindulgentfamilyareaggressive,spoiled,andnoncompliant,theyhavediffic ultiesinpeerrelations.Childrenassociatedwithneglectfulparentingarelackofself-control,socialincomp etenceanddelinquency. Children’semotionsareoftenaffectedbyparenting.Parentsarekids’firstimportantteachers.According toJohnGottman, “Parentsarekids’emotioncoachers,andtheyteachtheirkidsstrategiestodealwithlife’supsanddowns. EvenmorethanIQ,emotionalawarenessandabilitytohandlefeelingswilldetermineone’ssuccessandhap pinessinallwalksoflife,includingfamilyrelationships” (P20-21).Soit’sveryimportanttousegoodparentingathome.Authoritativeparentingsisthebestparent ingstyle,becauseitisgoodforchildren’semotiondevelopment,andbecauseauthoritativeparentsacknow ledgetheirchildren’sfeelingsandacceptthemunconditionally,theycansetacceptablestandards,andthey helptopromotechildren’sindependence. Authoritativeparentscanunderstandtheirchildren’sfeelingandteachthemhowtoregulatethem.Theyoft enhelpthemtofindappropriateoutletstosolveproblems.JohnGottmansaid, “Theydon’tignoreordenytheirkids’feelings.Nordotheybelittleorridiculetheirchildrenforemotional expression” (P38).Theyhaveknowledgeoftheirchildren’sfeeling.Forexample,mysonfeltverysadandworriedwhen heheardhisbestfriendwouldmovetoanothercity.Hetalkedtomeaboutthat: “Mybestfriendwillmovenextmonth.WhomcanIplaywith?”Iunderstoodhisfeeling,andsaid, “I’msorrytohearthat.Don’tworry.Hisnewhomeisnotfarfromhere.Wecanvisithimandhecancomeba cktovisitus.Also,youcanmakeanothergoodfriend.Youwillfacelotsofseparationinyourlife.Youshould bestrong.” Ialsotoldhimaboutmysadness.Aftertalking,hefeltbetterandbegantoknowhowtohandlethiskindofsitua tion.Authoritativeparentshaveastrongawarenessoftheirownemotionsandthoseoftheirlovedone.Joh nGottmanbelieves, “Theycanseevalueintheirchildren’snegativeemotions;theyhavemorepatiencewhentheirchildrenare angry,sad,orfearful.”